This journey reminds me of learning to ride a bike. Even more than just learning to walk; for me, the bike captures the essence of faith and trust in a profound way. Let me share this picture with you:

At first, God runs right alongside me as I pedal. We laugh together, and I sense His joy as He cheers me on. He delights in my small victories even more than I do. He holds the bike steady, encouraging me to keep going. In these moments, His presence is undeniable. He’s right there, my Father, my Friend, rejoicing in every step—or pedal—I take.

But as I grow, He lets me go a bit further. I ride to the end of the street, hearing His voice cheering me on, though it grows fainter the farther I go. Still, I know He’s there. I must choose to turn around and come back to Him, to hear His voice again, to bask in His encouragement and love. And each time, we start again, just as before, but with more confidence and trust.

Then comes the moment I dread: He takes off the training wheels. I hesitate. I’m scared. But He knows it’s time. I do to. He steadies the bike as I wobble forward, and soon we’re laughing again, celebrating as I find my balance. He believes in me, even when I’m unsure. He trusts me with what’s in front of me, even when I doubt myself. He won’t let me fall.

But suddenly, I realize He’s let go. I’m riding down the street on my own. It feels different. It’s thrilling, but also frightening. I cling to the joy we shared and keep pedaling, trusting in the confidence He has in me—confidence that sometimes surpasses my own faith in Him.

As I reach the end of the street, I realize something crucial: I must turn back to Him. It’s not enough to keep riding forward on my own strength. Without Him, the journey becomes harder, the fear greater. When I turn back to Him, I hear His voice again, feel His presence, and find the grace I need to continue. Though I may fall or I may grow tired in the peddling, He is there to catch me. No matter how far the ride back may seem and how tired I may grow, He never actually leaves my side. He is right there beside me, giving me the strength to keep going. Yes, right back to Him.

This cycle repeats: pedaling forward, growing in confidence, turning back, and starting again. It’s a journey of trust, growth, and love. Each time I turn back to Him, I’m reminded of the strength, joy, and grace He offers. And so, I keep pedaling, knowing He’s always there, even when He feels so distant.

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Lord, I turn back to You. I keep pedaling, holding onto the truth that You are with me. Everyday. I believe in Your love for me. I believe in my love for You. Thank You for running alongside me, for letting go when it’s time, and for always being there to catch me when I fall; and to strengthen me when I grow weak. Amen.

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What about you?

• When have you felt God running alongside you in life’s journey?

• How has He encouraged you to step out in faith, even when it felt risky?

Take a moment to reflect on your own journey. Whether you’re in a season of laughter or fear, remember: God is with you. Keep pedaling, and when you need to (which is always), turn back to Him. He’s always waiting with open arms.

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I’d love to hear your story after reading this reflection.

Last weekend at Mass, during the Preface for the Epiphany, I said, in my mind, “Wait a minute, this sounds just like the Collect for the Baptism of the Lord.” In the Preface at Epiphany, we prayed, “and when he appeared in our mortal nature, you made us new by the glory of his immortal nature.”

This is what we pray in the Alternate Collect for the Feast of the Baptism of the Lord:

O God, whose Only Begotten Son has appeared in our very flesh, grant, we pray, that we may be inwardly transformed through him whom we recognize as outwardly like ourselves. Who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit, God, for ever and ever.

We celebrate the Epiphany with the magi because through them, God revealed Himself to all nations, including the gentiles. The Baptism of Jesus is another epiphany. God, again, revealed Himself through Jesus.

We find a pair of opposites in the prayer this week: inwardly and outwardly. They echo the immortal and mortal natures in last week’s Preface.

Jesus’ mortal nature in last week’s prayer is found in this week’s prayer as, we pray that we are transformed by the One whom we recognize as outwardly like ourselves. Jesus, the Only Begotten Son, appeared in our very flesh.

Pondering the mortal nature of an immortal God can be mind boggling, so let’s put a definition on the word “begotten.”

We hear about the Begotten Son in the Creed. Jesus was born from the Father before all ages. He is God from God, Light from Light, true God from true God, begotten, not made.

When you beget something, you create a duplicate, something that is the same kind as yourself. When you make something, you create something different than yourself. God begets God, and God created man. So if Jesus is God from God, with no sin, why was He baptized?

There are many explanations as to why Jesus went to John to be baptized, and I must admit that I usually want to know the why’s. However, this time I found myself not even trying to figure out the why. Instead I realized that the “why” didn’t matter as much as that Jesus “did.”

At His Baptism, when Jesus came out of the water and as He was praying, the heavens opened up, and the Holy Spirit, the love between the Father and the Son, was so great, that it was seen in the form of a dove. The voice of the Father was heard, “You are my beloved Son; with you I am well pleased.”

This is why our mortal nature must be inwardly transformed.
God did not take on our very flesh so we could be a better version of ourselves. He became man so that our mortal and our immortal nature could be transformed.

Our transformation begins at our Baptism. At our Baptism, we receive a new identity. God proclaims over us the same thing He proclaimed over Jesus, “You are my beloved; with you I am well pleased.”

This week as we pray that God would grant that we would be inwardly transformed through Jesus, may we also ask God for the grace to corporate with His desire and to say, “May it be done to me.”

Thanks for praying with me,
Julie

Learn more about Julie Storr at:

https://www.lectiotheliturgy.com

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My (at the time) three-year-old daughter has a unique gift to bring a smile and joy wherever she goes (this is still true). Always. Maybe it’s her ridiculously cute laugh, her Disney princess eyes, or her smile; but she is just too much sometimes (in a good way of course). She makes it difficult for me to be grumpy when I want to be. When I would rather sit and pout about my day, she would much rather pick me up with her cheeky grin and giggles because she wants to play a game or just be silly.

She is also one of the Lord’s favorite ways of teaching me the most seemingly simple, yet profound truths lately… Often, lessons I take for granted or never really spend any “real” time putting into practice – no matter how true I know those lessons to be.

Recently, we had one of “those mornings.” You know, where no one can find their shoes, everyone needs to use the bathroom at once, someone peed the bed, and someone else had a blow out in their diaper… and there is only 30 minutes before we need to leave for Mass… Did I mention both of the boys also managed to outgrow their “Sunday best” pants seemingly overnight?

When we surrendered to the fact that there was no way we were going to make our usual Mass time, we managed to limp our way into a different church, feeling defeated… and unprepared. Let’s be honest: we all have our preferred Mass time, our preferred Liturgy, and our preferred church. But, knowing we must be holy… or at least look like it when we walk in… and act like we wanted to be there after a “rough” morning… We soldiered on.  

It seemed to me as if everyone in the church must have had the same morning we did. Right from the start, I found myself distracted. Focused on all the wrong things, and critical, I half heartedly participated in the Mass… more as a spectator than anything else. The music was not the greatest for the Liturgy that morning… it bothered me. No one looked happy to be there… it bothered me. We got a few stink eyes for the youngest boy being a bit louder than normal and fighting with his sister over who gets to sit where… it bothered me. I really didn’t understand the homily or how it related to the readings… it bothered me. That lady really doesn’t like that my wife and daughters wear veils (by their own choice) to Mass… it bothered me. People were talking loudly through the consecration prayer… it bothered me. What didn’t seem to bother me was the fact that I was forgetting the most important thing: Despite all of what was going on around me, despite my crazy morning, Christ was there, just as he always is. Wanting me to encounter him; wanting to encounter me. Wanting me to receive him Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity in order that I may abide in him and he in me. So that I may have the hope of glory within… That I may recognize that this is also true of those around me.

I wish I would have come to that conclusion on my own. But I did not. When it came time to stand for the Our Father, my little sweet three-year-old daughter began to tug on me and stretch out her arms in the universal “pick me up” sort of way, and she said, “I can’t see Jesus!” “I can’t see Jesus!” Immediately, I was wrecked. In a good way! In a needed way! She taught me something. More accurately, the Lord used her once again, to speak something to my heart.

From her perspective, all she could really see is the backs of pews and… well, the behinds of people. Let’s be honest… in all ways, her level is not the best vantage point in terms of sights (sounds and smells too I suppose). It can be very hard to see Jesus when we have a similar perspective; whether literally or figuratively. My daughter had the right perspective that morning. Not me. She came to see Jesus, and she expected to see him; to experience his presence and she was determined despite whatever may be going on around her, despite her vantage point, despite whatever obstacles may be in her way, she was going to see him!   

“I can’t see Jesus!” She needed me to lift her up so she could see Jesus. Then, I realized, so do I! So do all of us! When we can’t see Jesus in the behavior of those around us, when we can’t see Jesus in the stink eyes and the moans and groans, when we can’t see Jesus in the faces of those who have given up an hour of their day to spend time with him – but look more like they just came from a funeral (including myself that morning) – when we can’t see Jesus in the words and behaviors of others, when we can’t see Jesus in the mirror…

When we can’t see Jesus in the hopelessness and despair that can sometimes grip the hearts of even the faithful this time of year; when we can’t see Jesus in the loneliness we feel; when we can’t see Jesus when the joy of the season has seemed to escape us this year…

We need someone to pick us up and help us to turn our eyes toward him, to have a better and higher perspective, to see Jesus! St Patrick wrote the words, “Christ in the eye of everyone who sees me, Christ in the ear of everyone that hears me, Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me, Christ in the mind of everyone who thinks of me.” That is what we are to aspire to! That is the life to which we are called. He must increase, I must decrease (John 3:30). A theology that is baked into even the calendar this time of year. It is no coincidence that the shortest day of the year, when the darkness seems to abound, is right around Christmas!

We must allow the love of Christ to dwell in us (Col 3:16), to conform us to his image so that others may see him in and through us. At the same time, if you are experiencing the sting of hopelessness and despair this Advent, I invite you to consider allowing the Christ Child to, at least, have a place to lay his head in the manger of your heart. There are those around you who may well indeed come knocking at the door, bearing Christ, and looking for a place to stay. Be willing to make a room at the Inn… even if it is only a manger.

I’ve heard it said that every preacher hears his own sermon first. Therefore, he is preaching to himself first of all. Well, this post seems all the more personal in that way! Indeed, I have had to examen my own heart this Advent, and I invite you to do the same! Will we let him in? Or will we continue to not see him; and offer him no room?

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And so, in this post, I offer two challenges:

1. For those who are having trouble seeing Jesus this Advent, prepare a place for Him. Preparing a place for Him might just mean allowing others in; and recognzing that you are not alone. You need someone to pick you up! And help you see the Christ Child! We all need a little help in this way from time to time; and that is okay!

2. For those who are not similarly struggling this Advent, be willing to help others, to recongize others, to point the way to others who may be stuggling to see Jesus. Be willing to listen without judgement; without advice, without solutions. Just be present. Be willing to share their burden, help them carry their cross and in that help them to see Jesus. Don’t give up on them. Pray for strength if you need more of it! Help them to see they are not the sum of their weaknesses and failures. Help them to know that God sees them; and in turn, help them to see Jesus.

In the words of St Paul, “It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me; and the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” (Gal 2:20). What if we were as the Scriptures say, the living, breathing, walking Bible we are called to be (2 Cor 3:2-3)? For a world starving for the love of God, the only way they can see Jesus is if we get out of the way and let his light shine through us.

That is helping others to see Jesus. That is answering the cry that really is deep within all our hearts, “I can’t see Jesus.” Would you help me? Would you pick me up and help me to see Jesus? “O come, o come, Emmanuel!”

We need each other. Scripture says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another” (Prov 27:17). Sometimes the hardest place to see Jesus is in the mirror, in my own heart. That morning my daughter picked me up and said, “This is you. This is what you are made for. This is what you are supposed to look like. Now, I see Jesus.” For our children, and for the world around us, it is more often the case that the Christ others know is the Christ we show them through our words, through our deeds, through our thoughts. It’s past time we help others to see Jesus.

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In praying with this question, my mind went to 1 Timothy 4:12, one of my favorite Scripture passages (I say that about a lot of passages…). It says, “Let no one despise your youth, but set the believers an example in speech and conduct, in love, in faith, in purity… Do not neglect the gift you have, which was given you.”1

In this passage, Paul is giving his friend Timothy encouragement in his youth, even if met with obstacles or difficult people. He is encouraging Timothy in who he is and in his example for believers. He is encouraging Timothy of the gift God has given to him to do this work! Why would Paul need to write encouragement to Timothy? Because he was discouraged. 

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We all fall into moments of discouragement, but I think this is one of the greatest challenges facing young people today. They have such a desire to change the world; to do something great; to accomplish goals. However, if that desire for greatness is not rooted in God’s greatness within them, then one can easily become discouraged. One can easily see what he or she lacks as opposed to what God has given. 

In our ministry with young adults, I have often encountered college students who have a deep love for God and want to serve, but they feel inadequate. Many grow discouraged when they see how much others know, how holy others are, or the gifts that others have that they may not. When mentoring young adults, it is vital to help root them in their unique purpose given by God. You were made for “such a time as this.”2 Each person, while uniquely gifted, is very different from one’s neighbor. In that, God needs everything you are and everything you have to give. 

There are a number of challenges, both external and internal, that young adults face in today’s culture which I could name, but when ministering to young people, what I see as most needed is authentic relationships. This generation of young adults smells disingenuous intentions from a mile away; however, they desire genuine friendships. Growing up online, they have access to friends with a “follow” or a “like,” but those friends do not know the heart behind the screen. 

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So often, as leaders strive to minister to this audience, we want a quick fix program or solution that will grow young adult efforts overnight, but getting to know another’s heart will never happen overnight. In order to reach today’s young adults, we need to have the heart of Jesus; a heart that takes (minimum) three years to walk with others and invite them into one’s life. A heart that gets to know someone and loves them even through mistakes or misunderstandings. One of the challenges of today’s culture is that it resembles the culture the apostles had to minister in… a culture where many do not know who Jesus is or are outwardly hostile towards Jesus and his followers. So, if people do not know Jesus, we need to be Jesus to them! 

This takes time! It takes authenticity. It takes relationships and friendship. It takes love. 

After the panel on young adult ministry ended, I had the thought “none of this is truly new, because it’s what Jesus did.” It appears new and innovative in the apostolates each of us spoke of simply because the Church, for so long, has relied on program-to-person ministry instead of person-to-person ministry. What each of us shared we were doing, in unique ways, was simply walking one-on-one with people in friendship. This new/old way of ministering in this apostolic time, is simply helping others to grow closer to God and to one another in community. It is enlivening a desire to serve God with one’s heart, mind, and soul. That is what Jesus did through his loving relationships. It may appear new or difficult, but we must simply look to Christ for the answers. 

He has a plan. He is doing something! There is a movement. 

Comment answers below: 

1. In your experience, what are challenges when it comes to ministering to young adults? 

2. How can you overcome these challenges in your efforts in order to reach them and love them well? 

3. We can’t give what we don’t have, and sometimes what we don’t have is time… What current efforts take up a great deal of your time without accomplishing the desired goal? How could you change your approach/effort to have time for relational ministry?

For many years, I’ve been asked to speak around the country on the topic of Discipleship and Evangelization. As priests, parish staff, and lay volunteers strive to understand how to do ministry well in the Church, I typically find myself encouraging them to get back to the basics…to model ministry like that of Jesus Himself.

This typically involves a very basic talk covering the terminology and basic understanding of what discipleship is and how we can do it today. These basics are covered in my book Discipleship Focused Youth Ministry as well as in these two articles found here on our Substack blog:

• The Four Areas of Formation

• The Four Earmarks of Discipleship

Those two above posts are available to all of our free subscribers. Today, I wanted to share a bonus for those who are paid subscribers to I See a Movement. Below is a video from my course which is no longer available (we’re reworking it to be re-released soon!). In this video, I discuss the fundamentals, share quite a few examples of how these fundamentals are applied within ministry, and talk a little about the difference between formation and teaching.

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When I first started diving in to discipleship, I remember a conversation I had with a priest friend of mine. We were discussing how everyone should be "discipled" and what that looks like. The question that the priest asked me, though, was "who is supposed to disciple me (the priest)?" He felt a little “left out” in the sense that there really wasn’t anyone that he felt it made sense to have this sort of intentional relationship with.

One thing I have found to be very common in places where discipleship is active is that people feel this "need" to be discipled by another person. I thought it would be good to share a few points that help answer the concerns of this priest.

Weekly Discipleship is Not the Only Way

v I would consider myself a disciple of Jesus Christ and I don't meet regularly with anyone for the sake of discipleship. I do have a spiritual director, but his primary goal is to direct my spiritual life. I also strive to find good men in my life who are older and wiser and are able to hold me accountable to being a good father and husband. The love I have for my wife challenges me each day. To be blunt, I probably don't have time for a weekly adult discipleship group.

Discipleship With a Person is Different Than Discipleship in Jesus Christ

Discipleship is discipleship whether it's with another person or with Jesus Christ (see the Four Earmarks). Discipleship in Jesus Christ consists of active engagement in relationship with Him through the Sacraments, prayer, etc. However, discipleship with another person looks like the Four Earmarks but with the intent and accountability of growing in relationship with Jesus Christ (who is also a person I know!).

Discipleship Needs to be Sought Out

Sirach 6:36 says

"If you see an intelligent man, visit him early; let your foot wear out his doorstep." If you feel like you do not have the accountability you need for your own faith development, seek it out. Find people who are faithful, and "wear out their doorsteps."

I actually intend sometime this week to ask a good man to begin mentoring me as a father and husband because I know I could use more accountability and wisdom in those areas of my life. The man I am asking is a great husband and father, and I pray he will accept my invitation. I am seeking him out. Take time to discern the areas with which you struggle, and seek people out to help you. So if you are waiting around for someone to ask you into discipleship, you may be waiting a while. Seek people out to disciple you. Most people would be honored to be asked.

Now to the priest who I mentioned earlier: I know you understand this and thank you for letting me use you as an example. You are a very holy disciple of our Lord. Thank you for your ministry to the Church and for the many disciples you have equipped in the world!

The Four Earmarks of Discipleship have proven to be one of the most effective set of teaching tools in helping others understand what discipleship is and what it isn’t.  I first came across the Four Earmarks of Discipleship in a book by Greg Ogden titled Transforming Discipleship: Making Disciples a Few at a Time. Discipleship is a pedagogy (a way of teaching) and when we are striving to form disciples, these four earmarks are what are needed to create an ideal atmosphere for Discipleship.

Here is a quick overview of the four earmarks of discipleship:

Intimacy

In order for someone to really take ownership over the teachings of a mentor, there must be an intimacy established between them.  This intimacy opens up possibilities for growth, that otherwise would not be possible. Intimacy grows through shared experiences, deeper knowledge of one another, and an openness to the gift of the other.

Mutual Responsibility

In discipleship, both people involved have skin in the game.  The mentor must be committed to helping teach the student and the student must have a commitment to learning.  In discipleship groups, a commitment is necessary to create the most ideal atmosphere for growth for everyone involved.

Customization

Discipleship involves a customized plan for the one in discipleship.  This means that the teacher is teaching in a way that most effective for the student based upon the student’s capacity to receive and where they need to grow.  In discipleship groups, the plans and vision for the group should be determined on the need’s and goals of the group as a whole. In short, customization is a response to the observation of the student on the part of the teacher and makes discipleship formation unique to the individual being taught.

Accountability to Life Change

Discipleship requires accountability.  Typically because there is an investment of time and energy given on both sides, it makes sense to demand growth in return.  If one is not growing as a result of the time they are spending as a disciple, they are not truly a disciple!

I’ve learned over the years that these earmarks are truly what make a notable difference in the effectiveness of a discipleship model. Striving to achieve these four earmarks within a personal apostolate or parish ministry will make all the difference in the world!

I write about these earmarks in my book Discipleship Focused Youth Ministry as well as share how they can be utilized in the context of ministry.

I like to highlight the four areas of formation as one of the fundamental components of discipleship focused ministry in a parish. If our work is to form disciples, these are a great starting point to see our work more wholistically in it’s approach.

The four areas are used in seminarian formation and in lay formation. The documents that speak about the four areas (primarily Pastores Dabo Vobis and Co-Workers in the Vineyard) are great resources for us to better understand formation in light of the work of discipleship and evangelization. Check out the four areas below for a brief introduction to them.

Human Formation

Human formation seeks to build qualities critical to form wholesome relationships. Human formation is necessary in becoming apt instruments of God’s love and compassion. When we think of human formation we typically think of ordinary things like (manners, self-discipline, finances, etc.) but human formation also includes areas like physical, mental, and emotional health.

Intellectual Formation

Intellectual formation seeks to build adequate knowledge in theological and pastoral studies, along with the intellectual skill to use that knowledge among the people and cultures of our country. Typically this includes studying the content and teachings of the faith.

Spiritual Formation

Spiritual formation seeks to form a spirituality and practice of prayer that roots the individual in God’s Trinitarian life, grounding and animating all that they do. Spiritual formation includes things like receiving the Sacraments, growing in your life of daily prayer, devotions, etc. While learning how to pray the rosary would be considered intellectual formation, praying the rosary is spiritual formation.

Pastoral/Apostolic Formation

Pastoral formation seeks to form the individual in the pastoral abilities called for in their role as a disciple of Jesus Christ. Simply put, being able to be attentive and responsive to the needs of others is another area of formation. While pastoral formation is it’s own area of formation, growth in the other three areas aids in the growth in pastoral formation.

How to Use the Four Areas of Formation?

You can imagine how our Lord desires to mold and fashion the best version of each person you are working with.  The four areas of formation are the areas that the Lord is desiring to form us in.  In short, if we are to understand the goals we are striving for in the work of evangelization, it will be done through formation in these four areas.  

I write about these and the other fundamentals in my book Discipleship Focused Youth Ministry if you’d like to learn more about them and how to apply them in the context of the work of discipleship.

One of my favorite ministry testimonies comes from a parish I worked with a few years ago. They have two different discipleship group leaders who, since beginning to lead their group, have had spouses also express interest in joining a group. This is a beautiful sign of fruit being born in the lives of leaders in that parish. The joy and growth that they are experiencing through discipling others is something that their spouses see and desire as well. It’s not like it’s an easy task for both spouses to lead a group (trust me, my wife and I know!), but the sacrifice brings great rewards.

I can remember teaching a religious education class many years back. I am confident that the only thing my wife would’ve seen after an average class was me throwing the teacher’s book in the corner and not wanting to think about class again until the next week. What is it about the experience of these volunteers that makes what they are doing different than other approaches? What is it that’s so inviting and seems to draw out a deeper commitment of time to the parish and its efforts to disciple others? Here are three areas upon which to focus that will leave your volunteers wanting more and make volunteering for ministry attractive to new volunteers as well.

Your Ministry Provides Community for the Volunteers Involved

One of the best things you can do for your volunteers is to provide opportunities that will build community among the volunteers themselves, giving them a place to be with other leaders who desire to grow as well. Learning from others and facing challenges together creates an intimacy that makes it very difficult to leave even if you wanted to.

Your Volunteers are Growing Spiritually as a Result of Being Involved

If you can cultivate an atmosphere where volunteers understand the importance of being a disciple first and commit to growing as a disciple, it will not take long for them to see that God has them leading a group not just for those involved, but to form and grow themselves as well.

Your Volunteers are Seeing the Fruit of Discipleship

Anyone who has been involved in ministry for some time knows the feeling of seeing someone encounter Christ for the first time or take that next step in their relationship with Him. It reminds us of the many graces that God has given us over our lifetime and fills us personally in a profound way. When volunteers are enabled to effectively foster discipleship within those of your parish, they will see this and it will change them.

Accomplishing these things is not easy, but it is possible. I truly believe that establishing a discipleship focused ministry model in a parish helps to properly orient the ministries toward providing these types of opportunities for volunteers. I’m certain that this is why I have seen more fruit born in the lives of the those involved in discipleship focused ministry than in the participants, which is exactly what we need!

I truly believe that one of the greatest struggles we have in ministry today is the fear to look at things for what they truly are. I remember sitting in a meeting with several youth leaders, and we were taking a guess at the percentage of youth who leave our programs and continue to live out the faith in college. The consensus in the room was about 5%-10%. Unfortunately, the conversation did not progress towards a discussion on what could be done better; instead it focused on all of the outside factors that were the cause of these percentages.

While the majority of the people in that room believed the problem was the negative effects of culture and the difficulty of transitioning into college, I disagreed. I believe the challenges associated with these things are both legitimate and substantial, but they are symptoms of the real problem. If individuals had the muscle to handle these struggles, the success rate would be much higher. The problem is that we as a Church have failed to help them build that muscle.

This is where Accountability to Life Change comes in. The reality is that we can’t make someone else build the muscle that will give them the strength to overcome the things they will come up against; they must choose to do it themselves. We can only encourage them to do so. Fostering Accountability to Life Change in our work of discipleship starts by recognizing that we are not able to do in the 90-120 minutes a week all that needs to be done. If we are going to have ministry that truly helps individuals , it will need to begin requiring more than simply attending our programming.

The difficult part is knowing how to do this. Here are a few tips:

Expect Change or Stop Meeting

This can be difficult, but make it clear as you meet with youth that it’s pointless to meet if it is not bringing about change. I believe this alone will inspire change because they understand that you are there for them and not there just for the program.

Extend Mercy

As individuals do struggle and make mistakes, be patient and merciful in your response to them. Knowing that they will have the support to get up and continue moving forward will bring about a greater sense of personal responsibility, as well as accountability to you as their leader.

Set the Standard For Your Group

As a group, set standards for behavior as a member of the group. Commit to daily prayer, Sacraments, etc. When you ask the question “How is everyone doing?”, it’s a question aimed at how they are doing in keeping these commitments and not so much casual conversation about family, work, etc.

Provide Opportunities to Grow

Always have a plan in mind for how to encourage the participants to grow. Make your meetings more of a huddle that prepares them for the specific opportunities they will have for growth that following week.

Teach the Disciplines

Instead of just waiting around for things to happen and then responding to them, teach the different disciplines they can grow in each week. Spend some of the time in your meetings actually practicing them, and give them the tools to keep doing it when they leave.

Learn to Observe Growth

One difficult thing as a leader is learning to observe the life of the participants and being able to articulate what it is they are needing to grow in, as well as how much they are growing in it. This comes by developing the ability to ask the right questions and looking for certain responses.

Be Patient In Your Speech

As a discipleship leader, it is extremely important to speak positively about people and be hopeful rather than negative in your speech. Participants will be more inspired to grow if they believe that you truly think that they can do it. If you spend time talking about others in a way that communicates that you are never satisfied, the individuals you are working with will believe that they will never satisfy you as well.

Be Growing Yourself

The best teacher is a good witness. The greatest inspiration for growth will be through the witness of what God is doing in your life as their leader.

In conclusion, I want to return briefly to the first point, Expect Change or Stop Meeting. Our programs in the Church have become so “Catholic nice” that we have neglected making them places of growth. For those who do truly need accountability, we do them an injustice by making things too accepting. It should go without saying that this friendly and overly-accepting mentality that requires no Accountability to Life Change is far from how Christ taught his disciples to follow him. Like Christ, let us be honest and upfront about the expectations and demands required to follow after Him and never hesitate to call those desiring growth on to greatness while being patient and merciful at the same time.

This is part 4 of 4 of the Earmarks of Discipleship series. You can find the other posts here:

Have you ever wondered why fitness center memberships can be so expensive or why they require you to have a certain length of contract? Many fitness centers would actually say that charging a higher rate and expecting a commitment from their customers will actually make the customers happier. People use their services because they have a strong desire to be healthy, which motivates them to seek help. Therefore, they are actually helping customers follow through with their resolutions and achieve their goals more effectively by asking for a bigger commitment and charging a higher price. It’s quite a concept.

The call for mutual responsibility by the disciple and the teacher in discipleship is a similar concept. If you truly want to grow in your relationship with Jesus Christ, it requires commitment and sacrifice. If you really want to be a disciple, you must drop your nets and follow after Christ, or “deny yourself, pick up your cross, and follow.”

I understand that not everyone is ready for this type of sacrifice and commitment (or, in the case of the fitness center membership, maybe can’t afford it). This is one of the biggest ways discipleship is different than what is most commonly done in the Church. Typically, a Church will offer the same programs to everyone, and every program is so general in nature that it’s not really offering anything substantial to any one demographic. In discipleship, where the process and content are focused on the particular needs of each individual, there will be specific moments that challenge and call the individual to an even deeper commitment. It is in making these commitments that a disciple is able to truly grow.

Here are a few ideas to help you establish mutual responsibility in your discipleship group setting.

Be a Committed Leader

It is important to note that this is “mutual” responsibility. When asking others to make a commitment for themselves, they must be given the confidence that you will be committed to this journey together.

Communicate The Expectations

As a leader, be sure you are communicating what the expectations are for meetings, spiritual disciplines, commitments outside of the regular meetings, etc. Do not be afraid to make a covenant of sorts that communicates what you are all committing to. Writing these expectations down will do wonders in establishing a good understanding among everyone involved.

Call Each Other Out

When the expectations are not being met, do not be afraid to call each other out. As a leader, be ok with the others calling you out when you are moving towards being less committed. Practice patience and gentleness in challenging those you are working with to keep their commitments as well.

Be Consistent

Especially in a group setting, it is important to hold each person accountable to the standards your group has decided to set. When one or two people are slacking in their commitments to the group, it can be a parasite to the culture you have spent time building so far.

Re-Evaluate Responsibilities Regularly

Once or twice a year (or more often if needed), go through what you previously agreed to and decide as a group if it looks good or if things need to be adjusted. Ideally, you will be able to set higher expectations over time, especially if they are more specific in practice.

What other ways have you found it helpful to maintain a healthy commitment among your group and the leaders within a ministry? Comment below:

This is part 2 of 4 of the Earmarks of Discipleship series. You can find the other posts here:

One of the most powerful aspects of discipleship ministry that truly sets it apart from other approaches is the call for a customized plan for each and every disciple. When I led a youth group, I remember the constant tension between boring those who wanted to go deeper with too many games and doing less games but losing those who were not yet interested in more. Having one option or one program for the individuals in a parish is like taking a football team and making them all spend an entire practice punting. It wouldn’t take long for the individual players to begin losing interest and, in the long run, they wouldn’t make a very good team.

Discipleship is an apprenticeship that requires the time and focus of a teacher to observe and help a disciple where he or she needs to grow the most. It is the watchful eye and specialized instruction of the teacher that helps the student rise to a new level of excellence. A master carpenter, for example, can teach a student to see how he or she sees things. This is what makes it possible for the student to build items of greater quality and craftsmanship than any factory could ever produce. What the teacher teaches is based upon what the disciple knows and what he or she needs to learn.

Looking at things this way helps us to see how a customized plan, crafted through careful observation, will create the best outcome in helping an individuals grow as a disciple of Jesus Christ.

Here are a few ideas for how to work towards this customized approach in your ministry or small group:

Allow The Group Leaders To Create The Plan

From what I have seen, the norm in most parishes is to present everyone with the same information, content, or "program," and the opportunity for customization typically happens through guided small group discussion that has to fit within a 20-30 minute timeframe. We must form our small group leaders to vision and plan for their own groups and give them the freedom to step out of the programs we provide if they are not meeting the needs of their groups. In fact, parish programming should only exist if it is a response to the needs in the groups anyway (we’ll discuss this more in a future post).

Observe, Observe, Observe

The reality is that if you are really going to teach someone well, you must observe them in action. Take time doing things with the individuals in your groups, and watch how they respond. Ask difficult questions that challenge the way they think about things, and spend time each and every time you meet catching up on the most difficult challenges they are facing in their family, work, etc.

Keep Groups Small

In order for your group to really be able to give each person the individual opportunities they need, you must keep the groups small. I typically recommend groups of 4-6 individuals with 1-2 leaders. Mathematically, this means each adult leader can invest deeply in 2-3 individuals or at least be responsible for observing them and ensuring they are engaged in what the group is doing.

Allow Groups To Be Formed Naturally

Once discipleship groups begin to form in your parish, they will tend to take on unique characteristics , especially if your group is active and present in the parish community. People will desire to join a group or may even leave one group for another if they see what a certain group is focused on. Allow youth to go where they will be challenged and will be fed right where they are at.

Make It Less About The Small Group

It doesn’t matter how many times your small group meets or what types of things your group has accomplished. What matters most is that every person in your group is given the opportunity to be formed as a disciple and has someone helping them as needed. Do not be afraid to throw out the agenda if you find something specific that needs to be worked on.

These are just a few ideas. One way you could test if you are customizing your efforts would be to answer the question: “If you swapped out all of the individuals in your group and had new ones come in, would you keep doing the same thing?” If so, this is likely an earmark that you can work on!

This is part 3 of 4 of the Earmarks of Discipleship series. You can find the other posts here:

The Four Earmarks of Discipleship are qualities or characteristics that help us understand what discipleship looks like and evaluate its effectiveness. Discipleship is a way of teaching and forming another person. All too often, we in the Church approach the task of formation like we should just be able to instruct on something and others will automatically do it. The reality is that we live in a culture that is so relativistic and distrusting of authority that it will take much more to inspire others to do something than simply telling them to do it. Only love for another will motivate a person to freely adopt a new way of thinking and acting. This love and the trust that corresponds to it will increase with growth in intimacy. Developing intimacy in discipleship can take time, and discipleship will deepen intimacy over time. But how do we begin to work on intimacy in discipleship and through our discipleship groups? I thought I would share some ideas from my own experience.

Spend Time Together

Time together will help to build intimacy. In fact, intimacy requires time. Spending time doing study and talking about the faith is important, but be sure to spend time just enjoying each other’s presence as well.

Have Fun

When you experience joy together, it will deepen the desire to be with each other.

Have Purpose

Every relationship needs to be going somewhere. When your group has a purpose that is clearly communicated, it creates a strong sense of support and belonging, which leads to a more faithful commitment to discipleship.

Be Honest

A key part of intimacy is trust. Do not be afraid to speak honestly. Be prudent and humble in your sharing, but do not hesitate to be honest, and expect honesty from those in your group as well.

Share Each Other

Be sure your relationships are being shared with others. When you see the other person proud and excited to be with you and share you with others, it will deepen the trust and care you have for each other.

Talk About Each Other

In your discipleship group, do not be afraid to talk about yourself and address personal questions to each of the others. Get to know the others you work with, and do not be afraid to step outside of programming and curriculum. Always make your time centered upon each person and not the curriculum or study.

Pray For and With Each Other

Bring your relationships to Christ. Pray daily for the others you work with, and remember to keep prayer a central component of your relationship.

Be Faithful

We all have people coming in and out of our lives all of the time. When they discover someone who will make their relationship more than a program or a simple time commitment, it will inspire more faith in that relationship. Ensuring you are consistent with your time, attention, and care for the individuals you are ministering to will also help to build intimacy.

Say Sorry

Lastly, do not be afraid to say you’re sorry for the times where you may have let the others in your ministry down. The patience and trust others have for you will grow because you have expressed a desire to love better.

If we can foster intimacy among the individuals we are working with, it will be hard for the other things in their life to compete. Humans are hungry for intimate and healthy relationships that inspire commitment, sacrifice, and growth. Do not be afraid to truly give of yourself to those you are serving and receive the love that they have to give as well.

This is part 1 of 4 of the Earmarks of Discipleship series. You can find the other posts here:

All 52 episodes have been archived and no longer available through podcast players. The first two episodes are available to our free subscribers. The other 50 episodes are available to our paid subscribers.

Episode 52 - Show Description

In this episode Eric & Jason discuss many elements of both personal prayer and prayer within a discipleship focused ministry.

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All 52 episodes have been archived and no longer available through podcast players. The first two episodes are available to our free subscribers. The other 50 episodes are available to our paid subscribers.

Episode 51 - Show Description

In this episode Eric & Jason discuss strategies on finding leaders and volunteers for discipleship in your parish.  

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All 52 episodes have been archived and no longer available through podcast players. The first two episodes are available to our free subscribers. The other 50 episodes are available to our paid subscribers.

Episode 50 - Show Description

In this episode Eric & Jason celebrate their milestone of 50 episodes and discuss a huge reason that many small groups fail.  

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All 52 episodes have been archived and no longer available through podcast players. The first two episodes are available to our free subscribers. The other 50 episodes are available to our paid subscribers.

Episode 49 - Show Description

In this episode Eric & Jason finish with their tips on getting members of your small group to be more committed.

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All 52 episodes have been archived and no longer available through podcast players. The first two episodes are available to our free subscribers. The other 50 episodes are available to our paid subscribers.

Episode 48 - Show Description

In this episode Eric & Jason discuss why small groups tend to lack commitment and what to do about it. 

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All 52 episodes have been archived and no longer available through podcast players. The first two episodes are available to our free subscribers. The other 50 episodes are available to our paid subscribers.

Episode 47 - Show Description

In this episode Eric & Jason wrap up their conversation about the Sacrament of Confirmation.

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