28 Tips to Survive Your First Few Years in Ministry

A Non-Exhaustive List of Helpful Insights I Have Learned Over Two Decades in Ministry

1.      The hardest truth first: When you work for the Church, you must have a strong enough faith not to lose it. Take good care of your spiritual life; prioritize it. The stuff you do at the office… That is not your spiritual life! Being in the kitchen and seeing how the sausage is made can be discouraging at times. In faith-based settings, you expect things to be better; to be different. Often you will find that is not the case. There are human shortcomings in every diocese, in every parish, and within every person. It can be draining on your spiritual life. It can also be traumatic and leave you with serious wounds. Awareness of this is important. Tips and advice for overcoming come next!

2.      Some things can’t be left at work. It is a very human tendency to want to leave work at work. However, when your work is the spiritual life, it can also become easy to leave that at work too. “I do that spiritual stuff all day, I don’t need this.” “That message is for other people; I know all of this already.” No… you might not! It seems simple enough. You may say this is not, nor will it ever be a problem. I thought that once too. But I can tell you from personal experience, it is very easy to fall into this trap! If our job is to form Christ in others, he must be formed in us first. This is a daily process. Relationships faulter by a slow fade. You may slip a day here or a day there. Sometimes you are just plain tired. Leading VBS is exhausting. Just about any ministry effort can leave you physically drained and feeling a little burned out. One night of binge watching The Office likely will not do you too much harm. But be careful not to fall into the pattern of substituting your work for your spiritual life. 

3.      Do not neglect the God of Works while doing the works of God. We can get so busy doing, that we forget to be. Our identity is not found in our performance and results. It is found in who we are in Christ. Sometimes the most fruitful and effective thing you can do is to spend your morning on your knees before the Lord in Adoration. Your works must be rooted in prayer and grounded in and flowing out of your relationship with Christ.

4.      Remember the promise of abiding. Jesus tells us, “Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. He who abides in me, and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” The emphasis here is my own… But the promise is yours too! This is a promise! Abide in me and you WILL BEAR FRUIT. He did not promise that you would see it however. This is to keep you humble. But, this promise should give you confidence. You will bear fruit. You will be tempted to think otherwise; that you are not making any difference. That’s when you need to pray like Fr Jean d’Elbee, “I thank you for the souls which You give me simply because I am sure that You give them to me.”

5.      You may be tempted to change everything at once in your first year(s). DON’T! It cannot be stressed enough how important it is to make small, incremental shifts rather than “bite the bullet,” “burn it all down,” “start from scratch” transformations. The relational harm this approach most often causes rarely (if ever) advances the goal, no matter how noble.

6.      Want to make some changes? Take a measured and patient approach. Be open to discovering how you can build on strengths and reorient and/or repurpose current efforts. This can build early traction and infuse some hope and excitement into efforts that may seem otherwise routine and not noticeably fruitful. This “early traction” can help to win some support from key individuals or groups and help to avoid the initial push back or negativity that comes with a “blowing it up and starting from scratch” approach.

7.      Remember, not every ditch is worth dying in. Also, remember not to spend your spare time digging more ditches. Your spare ditches most likely are not worth dying in either.

8.      Don’t be so quick to isolate “work” relationships. Some may disagree with me on this sharply. I know some want work relationships to be separate from their social life. But I have found that a truly relational approach to ministry (which is what we should be striving for) leads to friendships outside of “work” and some blurring of those lines. I have found these relationships to be a blessing in my life. I have found committee members that have become prayer warriors and my greatest encouragers, colleagues that have become family, and clergy that have confided in me when they just needed someone to listen. In all these instances my faith has been deepened greatly, my life enriched and ministry more fruitful as a result. I am not advocating for a lack of boundaries. You absolutely must have boundaries in place (more on that later). However, if we look to the example of St Paul the Apostle, he clearly demonstrates a life of lived discipleship and relationship that goes beyond the “workplace.”

9.      Prioritize relationships! Pope Francis reminds us that to be in mission is at once, a passion for Christ and a passion for his people. It is to have a hunger for being close to people’s lives. When I was a Protestant, I had a pastor that always used to say, “Never trust a shepherd that doesn’t smell like sheep.” There is much truth to this. You cannot serve well if you do not take the time to get to know those you serve. What is their story? What are they passionate about? What inspires them? Where are they on their journey with Christ? What great work of grace have they seen? Why is it that they care so loudly about the Mass times not changing, the color of the carpet, whether or not we hold hands during the Our Father… Get to know the people you serve. Seek to build bridges and be present to those you serve.

10.  Spend your first year observing, building (see above) and learning (even from those who think differently). Don’t go in and immediately assume you know best and make changes.

11.  Input. Seek it!  Try to avoid regarding those who think differently as enemies. Be intentional about finding common ground and building good relationships with at least a few key people who think differently than you. There is value in a team of rivals. Always have one or two people close who have an opinion different than yours.

12.  In seeking feedback (which you should), remember that not all feedback carries the same weight. Is it good feedback? Is it informed feedback? Is it invested feedback? All these things must be weighed in balance.

13.  Never let the fear of someone’s negative response paralyze you into not doing that new thing! Many wonderful ministry efforts never get started for fear of a small number of people who… care very loudly.

14.  Remember the Ninth Beatitude of Ministry: “Blessed are the flexible, for they shall be flexed.” Realize you are married to the mission, not necessarily your plan. It is the mission that is inspired, not necessarily your to do list. You will have to be okay with the “pivot.” Some ministry efforts will feel like you just began something that you hope you find along the way. That’s okay! Discomfort helps us grow!

15.  Remember, you can’t make everyone happy. You are not pizza!

16.  Try not to take it personally. If you are serving in ministry, most likely you are doing it with passion. You are in it because your heart does not give you a choice. When you are met with a challenge, a criticism, or negative feedback, it can wound you. Don’t let that destroy your heart, your self-confidence, or your goals. Measure your fruitfulness by returning again and again to the Lord in Scripture, in prayer, in Adoration. Who does he say you are? Keep that before you as a reminder. Remember the promise of abiding!

17.  Understand the typical pattern of your first few years in ministry. On a related note, pray the serenity prayer… often.

a.      Year 1: Survival

b.      Year 2: Learning from mistakes

c.       Year 3: Starting to hit your stride. Now you can build!

d.      Serenity Prayer:

O God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time. Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace. Taking, as he did, the sinful world as it is, not as I would have it. Trusting that he will make all things right if I surrender to His will; that I may be reasonably happy in this life, and supremely happy with Him forever.

18. Always, try to have a good sense of humor about things. Many times I have found that to be the key to remaining positive, coping with unexpected results, and at times… even criticism (whether constructive or not). This does have to be balanced with prudence of course!

19.  Ask questions! ALWAYS ask questions! Seek out answers (and relationships) from (and with) those who serve in similar areas of ministry as you. Ask your pastor, the deacon; ask diocesan staff, ask the catechists, ask the parents. ask those praying grandmothers; but most importantly, ask the HOLY SPIRIT.

20.  After asking questions, DO NOT become overwhelmed with the answers and get pulled in 1,000 different directions. Sort through it. Take what makes sense to YOU. Leave the rest sit (you may want that info later). This process should be accompanied by prayer!

21.  Accept the fact that you are no one’s savior, and the salvation of souls is not solely dependent upon you. All you can do is say “yes” to the Lord allowing you to participate in HIS mission. He is their Savior. He is also the one that ultimately quickens hearts and brings people to salvation. This realization takes the pressure off.

22.  Do NOT try to do EVERYTHING, nor all in one year! In the words of Pope Francis, there is a “patient expectation” and an “apostolic endurance” that is needed.

23.  The curriculum is not your boss! Every parish dynamic is different, every school year is different. The needs of the people in front of you change. What is happening in the news? What is happening in the community? What is happening in homes? The Holy Spirit may need you to… be flexible and pivot. Yep, there it is again! Be able and willing to adapt.

24.  Make sure you have a written job description so that what is expected of you is clear. Boundaries are important! “Other duties as assigned” is an overused prescription for burnout. You may need to be firm. But that’s okay. Your vocation, your health, your family, all these things come first! While there may be seasons and times of the year that require more of your time and do require sacrifices (be okay with that); that should never be the norm!

25.  Strive for good communication with your parish priest; make sure you understand his expectations and vision for your ministry efforts.

26.  Determine to be someone who brings joy to those around you. Smile and be joyful; there are no substitutes for being welcoming and hospitable. The basics of good customer service really do apply. Our actions often speak louder than our words. How will anyone believe that the Gospel is good news for them, if it doesn’t appear to be for you?

27.  Remember, there are no silver bullets. Some publishers, content producers, and influencers may say differently, but the person who knows best how to fix your parish is already there. His name is the Holy Spirit. Will He use programs? Will He use models and approaches? Sure He will! But, just like the Apostles, to be fruitful in ministry, you are going to need to spend some time in the Upper Room.

28.   Actively resist the temptation to be negative with people who are always negative. When we experience something frustrating, we can be tempted toward needing to tell that, "Oh, my God, you'll never believe this" person in our lives. You know, the one that knows all the gossip. The one that relishes in a good put down and is never short of criticisms. We may even find some humorous artistry in their ability to tear others down with the most biting sarcasm. Flee from this temptation! And quite possibly, in so far as you are able, flee from this person! Do not feed the monster. There is a great difference between the need to vent to a trusted friend (who is a good encourager), versus the need to share with those who delight in negativity. One will help you bear your cross. The other will only add more weight.