In this third installment in this series on becoming a hospitable parish, we move the discussion forward a bit; though we are in many ways, still laying the groundwork. In the first part, we discussed the “why” of becoming a hospitable parish. In the second part, we did a bit of an examination of conscience and reflected on approaching the parish with the eyes of an “outsider;” that is, considering how one who is not a regular Sunday worshipper may view the experience of coming to Mass at your parish on any given Sunday.
In this, admittedly shorter section, we will dive into what I believe really are the five steps to becoming a hospitable parish. At first glance, they may not seem that way; perhaps because they are still a bit lofty. But I have every confidence, these are the most important initial steps!
Step 1
Pray! Let me start with the first step, which there again, is THE MOST critical. To put it plainly, if a parish is not a parish of prayer, it will never be a parish of hospitality! Let me say that again… But in all caps so I can shout it to those in the back: IF A PARISH IS NOT A PARISH OF PRAYER, IT WILL NEVER BE A PARISH OF HOSPITALITY! That is the first step! But what is next?
Step 2
Plan! We have explored the “why” of parish hospitality, and in part 2 we even offered a survey tool for evaluating your hospitality efforts. Hopefully, time has been spent evaluating the campus, reflecting on the Sunday experience, and even discussing the needs, desires, and gifts of the parish community. It is not enough just to have that information.
Bring this all before the Lord in prayer! Establish a team to assist in this effort; ideally of individuals who seem to be by nature, very welcoming, and begin to prayerfully make a plan of action. Make sure this plan is not too much at once. When it comes to changing the culture of a parish, most overestimate what can be accomplished in one year, and grossly underestimate what can be accomplished in five years. Choose one to three areas/tasks to focus on. Start small. Start with the lowest hanging fruit. Early victories will do much to boost morale and establish early support and buy in among parishioners.
In forthcoming segments in this series, I will provide more concrete and practical action items to consider. But here are a few that come to mind:
· A dedicated welcome team for new members. The welcome team may do some of the following (for example):
Home visits to new parishioners with a gift basket of some sort
Greets those newcomers with information about Mass times, Confession, Faith Formation opportunities, etc.
Offers prayers for the new members and their families (meaning, those doing the home visit pray with the new parishioners).
Change your welcome letter!
Many parishes use a generic form letter which is mailed out to new parishioners. Generally, the following format is used:
Welcome to our parish.
Here is how you can give online.
Here is how you can get involved (usher, greeter, lector, kids can be server)
The problem with these sorts of letters is they are not actually welcoming. There is no consideration for the person/family that is joining! Where are they in their journey? What are their needs? It is very impersonal. Worse, what it communicates is, “Thank you for coming. Here is what you can do for us!”
I have known people personally who have had bad experiences with the Church and various scandals. One such person was sparked by a very similar letter. The letter came at the worst time. They walked away. For some who might even be exploring coming back, this letter could push them away. That’s where a welcome team comes in!
Create a Welcome Team
I know, I know… I have heard it a thousand times… “That doesn’t match the reality on the ground… We can’t even get people to sign up for such and such…” Yes. I get it. But this does not need to be a big group. It could even be two couples! The only requirement is that you be a person of prayer and be genuinely given to hospitality! These are your home visitors (depending on the size and demographics of your parish of course).
If you follow this plan, and cast the vision (Step 3), I promise! People will be inspired to be a part of this effort! They just need to see the value!
Create a Welcome Reception
Depending on how often you take in new members, it can be a great experience to have a reception for new members periodically! I would recommend at minimum quarterly. Have a nice dinner and a meet and greet with Fr. Make it personal. Make it fun. Share a brief testimony. But really make them feel welcome.
Step 3
Cast the Vision! This is where you share all that you have learned thus far, and all that has been born of your time in prayer with others! Why does it matter? Why should we want to be a hospitable parish? How can we all help? Why should we not ask someone to move from “our pew?” Why are dedicated parking spots for veterans, first responders, pregnant mothers, a good thing? Why should we not all file into the end of the pews? Why do ushers and greeters need to demonstrate enthusiasm and joy? Why does this matter? These are the things that in the routine of Mass attendance can be easily forgotten and taken for granted. So many of us need gentle reminders; again, and again!
If you are in parish leadership, or if you are a key volunteer, or even someone just desiring to see change, becoming a hospitable parish begins with YOU! By being an example in words and in deeds, you are in many ways, casting the vision as well! Now, inspire and equip others to do the same. Clergy will need to offer gentle reminders from the pulpit with regularity.
Step 4
Put it into practice! No plan will ever do any good unless it is put into practice. Remember, changing the culture of a parish is like pushing a boulder up hill. That means… You cannot stop pushing. It is going to take a lot of intentionality and of course, work! There will be many who disagree. There may be others who will not be concerned with being “welcoming” or “hospitable.” I have never forgotten a meeting I attended where a parish director referred to those who do not attend Mass regularly as “free loaders.” That of course, is the wrong approach, and will not bring about renewal or positive change. Do not let yourself get discouraged though! Keep pressing on! You’ve prayed. You have a plan. You have cast the vision. Now it is time to get to it!
Your plan for improving hospitality will need to be reflected (and built into) all that the parish does. But start small. Be patient. Again, once you have established a few places to start, do so! In this process of doing, help other parishioners to understand the vision and embrace their role in making this all possible. Part of putting your plan into practice will be not losing focus on what matters most. External things and best practices (that will follow in upcoming articles in this series) are good things; but first and foremost, there is a spirituality of hospitality.
In many ways, true hospitality is incarnational. It is all about encounter! Who do we need to encounter first? CHRIST! The most hospitable thing we can do is help parishioners encounter Christ and inspire them to want to do the same for others! To do the “how” and “what” of hospitality, we have to understand that first! The truest hospitality will be centered on the words of St Patrick: “Christ in the eyes of everyone who sees me; Christ in the ears of everyone who hears me; Christ on the lips of everyone who speaks of me; Christ in the mind of everyone who thinks of me.”
Step 5
Evaluate! How are we doing? Are we making progress? Is there evidence of our new efforts bearing fruit (hint: this will take time)? What can we do better? What is working? What is not working? How can we build on our efforts so far? What are areas of needed growth or change? These are just some of the questions to consider before you return again to Step 1. Yes, it is a cycle! You will need to continually work through this process if you intend to bring about a change for the better.
Alright, so far, we have spent the first three articles in this series somewhat abstract and ideal? How do we DO this? Well, that will be the subject of the remaining articles! So, be sure to subscribe to stay up to date on the latest posts!