Ode to Catholic Guilt
Should guilt be seen as negative? Why are so many people uncomfortable with guilt? Can there be "good" guilt?
I remember watching the Bachelor... (yes, I watched the Bachelor. It’s a guilty pleasure show… but that’s what we are talking about today–GUILT–so it works!) And a member of the cast made a flippant passing comment saying, “I used to struggle with XYZ, too… you know, Catholic guilt and all.” Then he laughed. At first, I was excited because I thought the Bachelor might be Catholic! 😂 Then I realized he was making this remark with negative regards to the Church, as many using this phrase do. I have heard it said many times in my life, and each time I find myself wrestling with it.
Should guilt be seen as negative? Is it something we don’t have to take seriously? Why are so many people uncomfortable with guilt?
This phrase, Catholic guilt, implies guilt is a negative thing to be avoided or something we should never have to feel. I struggle each time I hear this phrase, because I do not believe this.
Guilt has a place in our lives! But it can be used by both good and evil spirits… with both good and evil intentions.
The Ignatian Rules of Discernment offer a great reference point to distinguish when guilt is harmful or when it can propel us forward in the spiritual life!
The start with the first rule!
Rule #1:
“In the persons who go from mortal sin to mortal sin, the enemy is commonly used to propose to them apparent pleasures, making them imagine sensual delights and pleasures in order to hold them more and make them grow in their vices and sins. In these persons the good spirit uses the opposite method, pricking them and biting their consciences through the process of reason.”
When someone is far from God, trapped in sin, struggling with vice, or simply failing to grow in virtue (which, if we are honest, we all struggle to fulfill our call to virtue in some way)--then guilt can be a wonderful tool used by the “good spirit.” This guilt helps us realize we are doing something harmful and calls us to a transformation back to God.
Let’s use an analogy to explain this.
Who among us enjoys feeling the physical pain of an injury? No one. For a moment, imagine accidentally placing your hand on a stove burner. You would immediately feel pain and pull your hand away. That pain is not something you sought out; it is not enjoyable; you would sooner avoid it than experience it. However, the pain itself is a good thing, because it is the pain that makes you realize your hand is on a burner and causes you to pull your hand away in order to avoid further damage.
It is the same with guilt. Guilt is not something we seek; it is not enjoyable; we would rather avoid feelings of guilt. However, it is guilt itself that leads us to realize we did something we shouldn’t have. Guilt, hopefully, leads us to stop a particular action, that is truly wrong, before it causes us further damage.
In this way, when a soul is away from God (in some way or another) the “good spirit” can “prick” or “bite” our conscience to reveal harmful behavior and ask for a change back to God!
On the contrary, if a soul is near to God, following the moral life of the Church, and striving to grow in holiness each and every day, the second Ignatian rule would say that it is the tactics of evil to “bite” with feelings of guilt.
Rule #2:
“In the persons who are going on intensely cleansing their sins and rising from good to better in the service of God our Lord, it is the method contrary to that in the first Rule, for then it is the way of the evil spirit to bite, sadden and put obstacles, disquieting with false reasons, that one may not go on; and it is proper to the good to give courage and strength, consolations, tears, inspirations and quiet, easing, and putting away all obstacles, that one may go on in well doing.”
In my reflections of this phrase, I found these two simple words–”Catholic Guilt”–to hold quite the punch against the Church. The Catholic Church has the most beautiful “laws'' of morality. Expectations of morality are not typically associated with beauty. In my experience, they are often associated with imposition, lack of freedom, a tyrannical God, and so on. Nothing could be further from the truth or further from who God is. Let’s look at another analogy.
Imagine parenthood for a moment. Parents do not enter into this great fruit of marriage1 because of a lifelong dream to rule over their children and impose their will upon those in their stead (please note the ridiculousness of this comment!). No. Parents welcome children into the world as a fruit of the marital act of love between husband and wife. Children are born out of love to be loved. As a parent myself, I wanted to be a mother because I knew how much love my husband and I had to give. Now, parents often have “laws” of the household: no hitting, curfews, chores, no swearing, etc. These laws are not given to “rule” but are given out of love. We want our children to mature, to grow up loving God, to have kindness in their heart, to be able to provide for themselves, to be capable of working hard, and the like. Through the laws and expectations of a home, parents help their children accomplish this; it is done out of great love.
The same goes for the Church.
The Church was born out of a great love to be loved! Anything different would be contrary to who God is for “God is Love.”2 This is Pentecost!! The Holy Spirit, love himself, was poured out on the Apostles. (Pentecost is often called the birthday of the Church.) Through the continual love of God, he has given us laws of morality, which we live out as a response to God’s love! These help us mature in the spiritual and moral life and ultimately live eternally in Heaven with He who loves us.
Now, can you begin to imagine that as we grow closer to God and loving laws, evil would begin to sow “Catholic guilt” in a negative way?
This phrase, “Catholic guilt,” often implies that it is the Church and her rules that impose a feeling of guilt. That perhaps there is something unloving in her authority.
“The Catholic Church expects too much from us in how we live.”
“If only the Church wasn’t so strict, then I never would have to feel guilty.”
The first letter of John, chapter four, also reads, “He who does not know love does not know God” (vs. 8). This may challenge a few hearts, but it could be said, then, that if one cannot see the love in the Church’s moral teachings… Perhaps one cannot see the love of God.
Guilt can be a weapon in his arsenal against our sanctity. The devil tempts us in moments we are close to God with the allure of sin and “false reasoning”, just as he did in the Garden of Eden. Eat the fruit. You will become like God, knowing good and evil. He tempts us by showing the false “good” of sin in order to get us to ignore God’s voice–just as Eve did–and succumb to temptation.
Now, many could argue that after they sin, the voice of evil changes to now bring shame, BUT could it be that after they disobeyed God’s loving law, that they felt the “prick” of their conscience from the Lord and not from evil (if the Ignatian Rules are our guide here)? “They heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God.”5 They hid because they were ashamed. I know this to be true in my own life; I have felt the allure of sin. But, when I fall, I feel the “prick” that leads me, in my reason, to know I have done wrong and chosen against a God who loves me.
Can you begin to see how guilt can be both a weapon wielded by evil and a tool used by good for our sanctity?
I felt it necessary to share my reflections of this phrase to remove the veil surrounding guilt. A veil that leads us to cast away ALL feelings of guilt; to believe that ALL guilt is bad. I have heard it said and seen it written “guilt has no place in your life.” I would argue it has every place in our lives!! However, it all stands on how we receive it!
If we are near to God and feel the bite of guilt–brought on by the “Father of lies” and evil spirits–this guilt is just that;3 LIES! However, we can hear these lies and then denounce them! Allow them to propel you forward in your love for God. Evil would not tempt you or bother to bring warfare to you if you weren’t doing something right in the spiritual life. Use these pitiful weak tactics by evil to pull you from God to increase your trust in God; your resilience in prayer; your faith in who you are as a child of the Father in Heaven.
If we are far from God and feel guilt–brought by good spirits–this has a place in your life! The place is to turn away from sin and pull your heart to God! I welcome that guilt; that guilt is what has brought me to the place I am today… striving to live a life for God and running to his arms for forgiveness.
As a Church, let us begin to see the truth of guilt; that it can be used by both good and evil. That there can be truth or lies to the guilt we feel. However, let us change the phrase “Catholic Guilt” from something we receive negatively into something that can transform our heart to radically love God, if we allow it!
#iseeamovement
“I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance” (Lk 5:32).
“Now when they heard this they were cut to the heart, and said to Peter and the rest of the apostles, “Brothers, what shall we do?” (Acts 2:37) (their conviction, or guilt, led to their conversion!)
“He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy” (Prov 28:13).
“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness” (Lam 3:22-23).
Familiaris Consortio, 28
1 John 4:8
John 8:44