What to do When the Service is Bad
Rethinking the Complaint to the Manager
This past weekend, I was blessed with the opportunity to present a day-long workshop/retreat at my parish. The title: “How to Share Your Faith with Anyone.” A somewhat clear title, so I thought. But, one that also raises a number of questions! “What does that mean?” “Like, really anyone?” “I don’t have any trouble talking about my faith with anyone!” All of these were comments and questions that I received ahead of the weekend.
With these ideas in mind, I began the day by telling a story. As human beings, stories impact us like few things can. Stories move and inspire us; they teach us, and sometimes even change us! Stories have the ability to reach us in ways that doctrinal truths (by themselves) and “best practices” cannot hope to - that is, without being presented through story! Jesus, himself, taught in parables for this very reason! Stories provide proof that God is who he says he is and that he is still present and active in the world. Hearing how God has worked in the life of the storyteller very often inspires faith, action, and hope! We remember it! We hold onto it. A picture may be worth 1,000 words; but a good story is priceless.
I began by sharing how my wife and I took to heart the words of our first pastor on the importance of proclaiming the Gospel message by words and deeds. He helped us to find Christ ourselves. He would challenge us and inspire us; but, thanks to his example, we knew to be open to the everyday, and at times frustrating moments of life; when the Lord might just be asking us to share the love of Christ.
It seemed a pretty ordinary Saturday evening. The Friendly’s restaurant was right down the street from our church. There aren’t too many Friendly’s around these days. But, at the time, that was the place to go for ice cream! It was also the place to go after church, we were hungry and we wanted that toffee coffee crunch milkshake.
Many times we had heard our pastor say, “We make sharing our faith much harder than it actually is. When you go out to eat, you are about to pray anyway! Why not ask the server, ‘We are about to pray. Is there anything we can pray for you about?’’ We decided that night, we were going to take up the challenge. Again, we wanted to help others come to know the same life giving, life changing love that we had come to know in Christ! It was time to do it! Only… there was one problem. Our server was clearly having a bad day. She also didn’t necessarily seem to be happy that we were seated at her table. It was clear that she was having not only a bad day, but also a bad week, a bad month… Maybe longer.
Despite the circumstances, when our food came, we said, “We are about to pray for our food. Can we pray for you?” To our surprise, she opened up to us. She told us about struggles with her boyfriend, with her parents, her lack of happiness and her desire for something more and something better. We prayed for her. The remainder of the evening was noticeably different. We continued to talk. Despite a long day, we lost track of the time. It was okay.
When it came time to leave, we decided to leave an encouraging note on the check with some Scripture passages. Although we ourselves had only been walking with the Lord for a very short time, in our zeal, we did learn quite a few Scriptures to pull from! We also left our server with a great tip!
The following week, after church, we came back. Yep, we ordered the same thing. We sat in the same section. Talked to our server, prayed for her and once again left an encouraging note, some Scripture references, and of course, a good tip! We did this for weeks; which then turned into months.
Finally, her schedule was changed! This meant in order to continue to see her, our’s would have to change too! But it was out of our way! We lived and worked in the opposite direction! Nevertheless, we decided it was too important. We had also grown quite fond of her and this experience. Of course, those toffee coffee crunch milkshakes were also quite good.
Finally, one evening after about six months, as soon as we walked in the door, there she was! She looked happier than we had ever seen her. She skipped right past the host and sat us herself. Her server pouch seemed like she had a busy day because it was full of receipts. Then, with a big smile she said to us, “I just want you to know that I’m getting my life back on track. I broke up with my boyfriend and I moved back in with my parents. They are helping me. I’m going back to school and most importantly, I’m going back to church and I haven’t been this happy in a long time. I just want to thank you for all that you have done for me and your encouragement. I kept every one of your notes. They have meant so much to me!”
She then proceeded to dump out onto the table, every note, every Scripture we had ever left for her. It’s still an overwhelming moment to think about. It’s a story I can also seldom tell without tears. While I know her name and remember her name well, for the purposes of this post I have chosen to leave her name out. Why?
Because you have been there! Even if you have never been to a Friendly’s Restaurant, you know this server! How many times do we encounter “bad service?” Someone who seems to not enjoy their work? How often have we said, “No tip from me! Don’t deserve one!” How many times have we been tempted to simply complain to the manager? Sometimes of course, that can be necessary.
At the same time however, what if my wife and I had made the same decision that night? What if we had simply complained? How much would have been lost? What if we had not been open to sharing the love of Christ in that moment? It was a really simple thing that opened the door; that changed a life.
Yep… It really is that simple. No workshop needed. The story of the Friendly’s server who had one unfriendly night and found the love of Christ as a result… That is how you share your faith. It can be that simple. More than anything, it simply requires the courage of your, “Yes.”
While I was reading this, I first thought..."yeah, but I don't want to offend someone by doing this." Then, I thought, "man, I am so grateful that someone had the confidence to do this with me so many years ago!"